can't we just escape reality for a little longer. ..

I know I have not updated this in a while and I have a lot of back-blogging to do. I need to blog about the African Schools Debating Championship, which is where I have been for the past week, and lots of other things. But right now, I just feel like blogging about all these feelings swimming around my mind and body.

I feel very sad. I was at ASDC with my lovely friends all week. It was hell at times but it was a break. To put it simply...I would leave my hotel room in a complete mess in the morning and when I returned home, it was sparkling clean with new towels and all. That is what I felt like most of the week, I would leave early in the morning tired and irritated anticipating a horrid day, and i would return home happy and filled with satisfaction that it went well and filled with happy friend feelings.

At ASDC 2009 i was an adjudicator and I made some of the best friends i have and this year at ASDC, even though i was organising it this year and was much busier, I felt like i got to rekindle those friendship with people I had not see in ages.

The nature of this competition (which i will tell you about in another blog post) is one that is unique because it brings together schools from around SA and countries from around Africa. It is a one and only event in South Africa. What really fills you with happiness is seeing the kids enjoy this event. I was head of registration which means I chose the teams and invited them. For me the African nature of the competition was more important, and i wish more countries could have come, but it is expensive to travel. But those countries and schools that did come, LOVED IT...and i know this because they told me every day. Do you know how wonderful that is! Kids who are learning and enjoying the tournament that had given you nightmares for the past 6 months; teachers and chaperons who are thanking you for this opportunities and teams who are so eager to come next year. It really makes it all worth while.

Yes, there were technical hitches and this morning was a major one where our fearless leaders decided to not be fearless and it was chaos that resulted in me nearly crying and feelings getting hurt. Not a great way to end the tournament but everyone is home safe and sound right now, which is all that counts.

So, as of 4:30 today i was feeling some sadness that it was over and i left my ASDC friends for another year, but relief that it was done, pure exhaustion for a week of nonstop work and of course fear for the reality that is waiting for me at UCT!

Now to add it all off, you all know I have been having car troubles...well they have not ended. And on my way to the airport to fetch Bontle, the car dies AGAIN and it is the clutch AGAIN and i have to get a giant yellow truck to tow me AGAIN! This time though, i was not stuck in Kramer, I was on the side of the N2 in a not-so-safe area at 5:30 meaning there was maybe an hour of sunlight left. I was angry beyond belief because i had had this exact problem fixed a week ago, fear that something terrible was going to happen while we wait, and pure and utter exhaustion for being alive. I think i can safely say i was a person there is body but not mind because i had given up...this was the last straw. I was sitting on the N2 waiting to be kid-napped/robbed/mugged in my piece-of-shit-breaking-for-the-third-time car after having a hard week and imagining a even harder one coming.

I made it home after the worlds slowest, but most helpful, AA man towed the car and then pushed it into the garage. I called my mom, cried. I called my dad, cried. And then i just cried more because i have spent this entire term dealing with car issues. I have made zero progress on my thesis, i have missed a week of class, and i have made absolutely no progress on my NGO project for my social justice class....and it is one week till the end of the first term.

So right now, I dream of leaving this place and coming back to one where all my clothes are clean, my work is done, my thesis topic is signed and sealed and my F**king piece of shit car actually works. I wish that the hotel cleaning ladies could clean my mess up.

Now, this is a emo post but it is all about all the emotions you can feel and how you can feel them all at one. I am happy, relieved, sad and exhausted. I feel like i do not want to come out from under the covers because it feels like Brazil's fire tornado is waiting for me outside. This feeling reminds me of Dido's 'Sand in my Shoes' song, where she does not want to unpack so she can forget for one more night that she is back.

So right now i am going to hide from reality for a little while longer; stay under my covers and pretend that I am not here.

Naomi Campbell

So, Supermodel Naomi Campbell was called to testify at the Hague for the war crimes trail of the former Liberian president, Charles Taylor. Naomi Campbell was VERY unwilling to come and testify saying it was a 'nuisance' to have to go! In addition, she refused to have any of her testimony filmed or pictures taken, and she brought her own legal team to 'protect her'. When testifying, she has given a testimony in contradiction to Mia Farrow and her former assistance Carole White.

Now, Naomi Campbell could be the link to put Taylor is jail for funding the blood diamond trade in Sierra Leone. The conflict and trade of blood diamonds was horrific- people died, raped, hand chopped off, child soldiers, massive human rights abuse and war crimes! And if the ICC could connect Taylor to funding this, it would put this dictator and war crimes criminal behind bars for life, which would be a huge triumph for justice and human rights everywhere! How any rational person, i would assume, would be more than willing to help this cause!

But, not Naomi Campbell. Campbell has been said to have received diamonds from Taylor at a charity party in South African in 1997, which would connect him to buying diamonds and trading. Now two people have confirmed seeing her get diamonds but she first denied it by saying she received a large bag of 'stones' from an unknown person. She did not know these were diamonds and she did nothing with these stones. Then it changed that she knew it was diamonds and gave them to the Nelson Mandela charity...but this was denied by the charity. So what actually happened?!? Apparently, Campbell received a big uncut diamond and kept it with her. But she denies this.

Now i ask you, if she was innocent, why the hoo-haa about coming to testify...you were innocent and nothing happened. So, it leads you to think that she did receive a diamond. If she did, for goodness sakes...tell them because you could be the final fundamental link between Taylor and the blood diamond trade! And this is a good thing! So what are you worried about? Your reputation...well you are a 'past your prime' supermodel who has earned a reputation that, i certainly think, would destroy any hope of ever being a respectable person. Are you worried about your safety and your family...fair enough, you are dealing with a serious issue and a serious dictator. But still....for once in your worthless life, do something right. Either you received the diamonds or your didn't. If you did, you are a fool who should have known better than to a) take anything from such a terrible man and b)not tell someone about these diamonds which you should have known, or what have known sometime later (if you had a brain) were blood diamonds.

Now, we have all seen the movie 'Blood Diamond' and know about the brutality of the conflict and the diamond trade. So, all i can say is that if i ever met Naomi Campbell, i would spit on her face because if Charles Taylor walks away free, it will be her fault for covering up the only evidence there is to put him behind bars!

Now, this may be one-sided and this is the story of how I understand it and I, obviously, think she is guilty. So, this is just my two-cents...agree or disagree, but i think it is very suspicious behaviour from Naomi Campbell.

The Cape Town Book Fair

So, on Saturday I went to the Cape Town Book Fair (alone because all my friends have gone overseas!).

I have been twice before and this year was quite disappointed. There were not as many stalls as usual and, most significantly, there was no exclusive books stall. Apparently, there has been some conflict among the organisers and shops which led to Penguin and Jacana both pulling out. There were a lot of South Korean, Chines, Arab and Japanese stalls, which is weird because really...the majority of South African's cannot speak any of those languages. I have come to realise that the book fair is not a place for a public nobody in the publishing world but for people to try find publishers and authors to get published and people to advertise and launch books.

Nevertheless, I went to two talks. There were not many to choose from and definitely not many interesting ones. One talk was a launch of the UKZN press book 'The Curse of Berlin: Africa after the Cold War' by Adekeye Adebajo (who is a very prominent scholar), which was very interesting and looks at Africa's problems with integration and how this is not the solution for Africa and how Africa needs a new regional leader to unite it. Something like that; very interesting and i recommend you take a look at it. The other talk was by the HSRC Press on the book 'Trade Unions and Party Politics', which was not so interesting but then again trade union and me are not academic friends.

I did find UCT Press, which is a first. I have always heard they existed but did not know who or where they were. They have some very interesting books coming out. The academic press stands were there in full force, and despite the resigning of both UKZN and HSRC Press' publicity/press directors, they had some good books, a good stand and the usual schmoozing of people.

All in all, the food was bad, there were no real bargains on books and there was not much to see. So, if you did not make it this year, do not despair because it was nothing to marvel at.