you've got a friend in me

So, as I sit on my bed on my one night off a week, I thought about the past day and wondered why the world can be so mean sometimes and how people can really bring happiness to a sad day.

This morning, just after I had woken up and as I sat down to enjoy my muesli and coffee, I got an sms from my good friend, Jacqui. Her lady-friend, Winnie-the-pooh, had ended their relationship via sms! Well that is just plain mean! So instead of going to gym, I headed over to my friend’s house. Before getting there though, I needed to get some wine and was a little concerned because it was 9am and what bottle store would be open. Well never fear, the bottle store was open…I guess for those early risers or something like that.

I arrived at Jacqui’s to already see Jen, Clair and Jenny there with the same idea, and we sat down at 10am to enjoy some wine, niknaks and chocolate. A good healthy start to the day. Considering I had no classes today, I figured why not have some wine, and so the drinking began. At 12, Jen had to leave to go to a meeting but as she left Bontle arrived and we went off to get some more supplies. Some vodka, brutal fruit, lemon twist and Steers were purchased and back to Jacqui’s we headed. Throughout the afternoon more people came with more varieties of goodies to eat and drink and at 5:30 I got into my little red car (after sobering up of course) and drove home.

I felt like I had been away like I would have been if I had a job- 9 to 5 in the office. Except, I had gotten no work done and has spent the day on a mattress in the sunshine. The perfect job if you ask me. Except that I had to come home and do a reading for my workshop tomorrow, which was kind of lame.

What an interesting day. People, busy people who are not only studying but also running community projects and working part-time, dropped everything and came to the side of a friend in need. It is amazing to know that there are real friends in this world who do come to your side when things go wrong; who will drop whatever they were doing, hop on their bicycle and arrive at your house with booze in hand. They will tell jokes and funny stories the whole day while you listen to some strange music and enjoy the sunshine.

The world can be a mean place with heartbreak, disappointment, sadness and pain, but it too can be a world composed of wonderful groups of friends who create memories like today which make you a little less scared of the big bad world. Sometimes life sucks and sometimes you heart gets broken, but you will always have your friends who will help you put it back together again.

An interesting and entertaining day that has left me with a little smile on my face :-)

the car parts underworld

There are many sterotypes in this world about woman and cars- they all drive terribly; they drive too fast; they do not know how to change a tyre and, most significantly, they know NOTHING about cars. Now, i am not going to try disprove this, but rather try and enlighten some of the females out there about the 'Cape Town Car Underworld'.

I have a little car of my own- a red hyundai getz and i love this car with all my heart. It is just perfect for me. I learnt how to drive in it; drove it from Durban to Cape Town and now it transports me around this city. The other day, this car died. Yes, it died. The car was making some funny sounds and smells, so i thought that it should go to the mechanic. I took it there on Tuesday and on thursday the mechanic called me back saying i should come in. He sounded very serious and i was quite nervous! So i arrive at the mechanic and he says, "come look at the gear box"...okay, i think...where is it? More importantly, what does it look like. Now the mechanic tries to explain what is wrong with it. Now really, this was just a waste of time. I have never seen a gear box before so i know nothing about it at all. And he is trying to tell me why it is broken and i am thinking..."But, can you fix it and save my car!" Eventually he realises i have no clue what he is saying and tells me that he can replace it (and the clutch because that is dead too) but it will cost.....between R8000 and R10 000! Sho! I wanted to cry!

However, not all hope was lost because my bestest friend Lisa told me about all the car underworld where you can get second hand parts for cheap. So i went to this website (partssource.co.za) and put up the parts i needed and a contact number and i waited and less than an hour later someone phoned saying they had a gear box for me for R3500...and it was a hyundai getz 2009, so practically new! Great news. So off i went into Blackheath (near belville) to get my gear box and it was a success. A very industrial area but a good place- Supreme Spares and it has lots of spare parts for all sorts of cars. A good place to go if you need some parts, and nice people working there too. I ended up getting a clutch at Midas, so nothing exciting there. When i returned to the mechanic an hour later, gear box in hand, he told me we need a clutch fork too. SIGH! So, he got in the car this time and we went off to find this fork. Well, this is the real car underworld now. First stop, Korean Boys! Which specialise in Hyundia second hand parts. It was Saturday at 12:10, so most places were closing. After a bit of bribing and smiling, the man let us in to see if he had one. But, no luck there. Next stop, Bridge City. Now this place, as you walked in you saw a car dashboard hanging on the wall surrounded by light cases and engines. Seriously! He went to the back, which i can imagine had even more parts everywhere, but again no luck! So last stop was Clifton's. This was a real dump and super dodgy! As you walk in all you see is shelves of car parts! We asked him for the clutch fork and my hopes rose as i heard the man digging through metal, but alas, no success! Now it was too late to go anywhere else, so the little red car had to spend the weekend in the workshop :-(

Bright and early Monday Morning I was harassing my mechanic about 'this fork', and some success was rendered. We found a fork that was not an identical one but one that, according to the salesman, should be fine. So now I sit and wait in anticipation to see if anything has happened and make a wish upon anything and everything that my little red machine will be back on the roads asap.

So if your little cars break down, do not worry too much because I am a pro at the car underworld and can help you out :-)

'Act like a Lady, Think like a Man'

'Act like a lady, think like a man' is a book by comedian Steve Harvey and it is all about what men think about romance, love, relationships and that kind of stuff. I am not normally into these self-help, relationship books but a friend of mine gave it to me raving that one has to read it! So i thought i would give it a try...

Now, first off, there should be a warning on this book- "Do not read unless wanted to get married immediately or are over 30 years old!" This book tells you have to get the ring, how to know what he wants, how to handle meeting kids, how to make your family love him. All these are very important things but if you are 22 and in your first serious relationship, these things freak you out! And that is what this book did. I starting asking my boyfriend questions like, "Do you think I am a lady"; "Do you feel like you need me"; "Do you feel like I need you"; "Should i have waited 90 days before getting serious in the relationship" and the ever so famous "is this going to last forever" question...and let me tell you, he thought I had lost the plot. This book, coupled with a friend of mine and her relationship issues, could ruin any functional relationship! Gees louise! Not a fun time!

This is not to say there weren't any good points. The book is amusing- it makes fun of men and their inability to sit and tear apart a woman's every issue for hours on end; it makes fun of women and their crazy obsession with over-reading into everything and some of the stories about couples are do outrageous you can only laugh about them. In addition, it makes you understand (as cheesy as this sounds) how men do show their affection and how you should interpret their actions, and most of all it really drives home how women are in control of what happens to them. This is something that stuck out to me- you are only treated badly if you let yourself be treated that way. Set some standards; make some rules and make sure you VOCALISE these rules, and not in a 'i am telling you telepathically from my brain to yours' way. Decide what you want and tell him and if he really is into you, he will listen and if he thinks you are insane, let him go! Wise words Steve Harvey, wise words!

All in all, this book is fun. You should read it, think for a bit and then put it down and leave it alone and re-read it in 10 years time when you have your life together a bit more; you have a career, a salary, a house and a plan...not when you are sitting on a bed, surrounded by books that are suppose to give you an idea about a thesis topic!

So, if you have a rainy day and want to read something, have a little melt down and nearly ruin your perfectly good relationship...give me a call and i can help you out :-)

this is dedicated to anyone who has ever had to think up a dissertation topic

So, it has come to be that time of the year again...thesis time! And what is the first step in writing a thesis...coming up with a topic and that is the point I am at right now. I actually wish that my supervisor would tell me what he was interested in and then I would do that! How am I supposed to know what I am a)interested in, b) that is not out of my depth, c) is specific enough to do in a few months and d) can be done in 25 000 words...and not to mention e) GET A GOOD MARK! AHHHH!

There are several fears that attacked a student trying to write a thesis and one of the major fears is the fear that everyone else knows exactly what they are doing and you do not. This is not a feeling specific to thesis writing...think about. No one ever wants to be the kid that is chosen last; the one who is the slowest; the one who gets the answer wrong. No one wants to be the kid who hasn't got a clue while surrounded by people who do. That is what happened this morning...

This morning I had two meetings- one with my thesis group and convernor and the other with my supervisor. The first one rendered me shaking in my seat because I felt like everyone else was so much further than I was...they had concrete ideas and plans and knew what to do.... whilst I had a vague place of interest but no actual examples or links or anything. My convernor tried to give me ideas, but i walked out of that meeting thinking I was doomed!

The next meeting I was terrified of. My supervisor is a very impressive, high profile law God who has never met or taught me. All I could think was..."try sound smart!" but that is kind of hard when you have no clue what you are doing! EEK! Anyway, my fears were unnecessary because he was a great guy who gave me good ideas. And I walked away with hope and anticipation to go and read all about these ideas.

Now, as I sit at my laptop googling anything and everything transitional justice related, I wonder how many people at this present moment are doing exactly the same thing and thinking they too are doomed! I bet it is millions across the world...and each one of those millions sit and thinking...."Why does everyone else know what they want to do except me!!"

The academic life...definitely not for the faint hearted!

worst day ever!

So, at this moment in time I am sitting in the ever so busy Cape Town airport waiting to be picked up. A mere 24 hours ago, I was sitting on my blue couch in the lounge watching TV without a worry in the world...and then...

First of all, I had to start packing. Now, as most people know, i hate packing! I seem to gather stuff and then it is a battle against the force of the suitcase and scale to make it close and be underweight! Anyway, as i sat shoving- literally- stuff in my bag, i realised I do not have any keys to my house in cape town. Now you see, I keep the gate remote on my car keys and left those in my room in cape town which is looked. Never fear i say, i will call Meg, but Meg has a job now (Yay) and won't be there; and neither will AJ, Olivia, Hallie or anyone! So then i go, eek! What to do. Next option, use keys I have here for doors in house...but i never was given a front door key and it has never been much of an issue coz i use the remote to get in and our...but with no remote! So now i need to get a key to Lisa to ensure I can get in. But Lisa's phone is not working so i cannot get hold of her and meg can't either. and Meg has to leave at 8am. Finally, I get hold of Lisa and tell her to phone Meg but it is now like 1am and Meg is asleep. So i have to make a new plan but now I am tired and sad because I hate leaving. And this is admin and all i can think about is what a friend said to me...'if you are continually coming up against obstacles then it is not meant to be'...and i am lying in bed going- AHHHHH! I don't want to leave Durban! Eventually, I get hold of AJ who can give Lisa a key but she has work at 12noon, so Lisa has to go before then, but AJ will be out from 8-10, so Lisa has to go after that. Well, at that point i left my fate in Lisa's hands to make a plan (because she is good at that :-) ) and I went to sleep. At 9am, i get a call from AJ saying she cannot give Lisa a remote but can give a key to the front door, which is fine...as long as it is not latched. So i guess i will find out soon enough.

So after the key mess...I have to go to the airport which is far now because they built a new airport in Durban. And the petrol light comes on but there are like no petrol stations for 20kms...sigh! So me and my dad risk it...what else could we do! And get to the airport, i go through and wait for my plane!

Now the plane is an hour late! Because of all the world cup traffic! More than packing I hate delayed planes! And then we take forever to get on the plane and travel at slowest speed ever. At least I got to watch House on the plane.

Then I arrive, my bag arrive (thank goodness) and i get a phone call from Lisa saying her car has broken down on Liesbek Driveway and she is stuck. So she says take a cab but i still need keys from her. So i say i will wait for her to fetch JP's car and come fetch me. And here i wait...

I suppose in hindsight it doesn't seem that bad, but when you are sad to leave and then all this crap happens, it really makes you irritated and sad! But i guess there is nothing you can do when life is literally throwing poo at you but to sit and take it. So i sit here and write this and think, as my friend TI says, "It could be worse...you could be fat and ugly"! So now i am sitting at waiting and laughing at the irony and hoping i get home sometime before the soccer starts so at least i can enjoy that...with a stiff drink because, lets face it...i need it!

An exciting weekend

So, yet another weekend has past and exciting things have happened that I am here to tell you about :-)

Friday started bright and early with a visit to Durban's Early Morning Bead Market down near Warwick Junction. This market is full of ladies who spend their time making beaded necklaces, earnings, hats, key rings and anything you can imagine (even a beaded vuvuzela!). These ladies travel from the northern KZN rural areas every friday and sell their items at real cheap prices, usually to other retailers who then sell them to tourists for triple the price. It is a great place, but early is key! Since it is pretty hard to park down there, you need to get there between 6:30 and 7am, however, it does go on until about 10am. I bought a zillion pairs of earrings (at R10 a pop!) and a very big necklace that I am not sure when I will wear, but it is very wonderful. Our American houseguest dropped R250 on a beaded vuvuzela...those tourists! What I really wanted was an traditional wedding hat, but practicality caught up with me because, really, when would i wear that :-) It is a spectacular place to see and I will take you down there anytime you are here :-)

As a reward for waking up so early, my dad took me out for breakfast at a little, rather strange place, called Panchimaltos. It is a dutch restaurant in the middle of town right next to the Durban court house, so you usually get a lot of lawyers and judges eating there. It is a tiny little place that you could walk straight past and has been there for the past 14 years. It has fantastic breakfasts and really good prices. Plus, if the owner likes you, he will treat you to some homemade pastries on the house. A definite go to!

The rest of Friday was spent waiting in anticipation for the Brazil Netherlands and Ghana Uruguay games. The first game...well what a surprise. We are definitely a Netherlands supporting household but, it is safe to say, we all thought they were going home. But alas they won against the mighty Brazilians! Excellent News! Then came the ever so disappointing loss by the Black Stars. Look, i don't want to talk about it...lets just say, nothing will make me happier than seeing Uruguay lose 20 nil to Netherlands!

Saturday was a market filled day once again. I went off to two markets; once called 'Green with Envy' which is mainly a food market where we bought lots of yummy humus, feta, bread, cheese and olives. Plus the best coconut and poppyseed cake I have ever had! Then onto the 'I heart Durban' market. 'I heart Durban' is an sort of marketing campaign to promote different and new things to do in Durban. They have a market and a party once a month. I like to call it 'Cape Town exporting to Durban' because it is the Cape Town arty alternative vibe. The market was quite disappointing; very small and not too exciting. But now I can say I have been.

The rest of that day was spend waiting for more soccer, which was not too exciting really. Argentina went home and Germany has shown the world that they are not to be overlooked. And Spain won, rather unconvincingly, against Paraguay. So what I thought would be a South American based semi-final has turned into something very different. I vote for a Netherlands Germany final!

Sunday was a exciting day. We went off, with some more family, to the Prawn Shack. This place is about 110km out of Durban in a place called Amatikulu, and is a remote little restaurant. It is owned by an eccentric character who life is the beach! It is a 'food experience' where you taste 7 courses over a few hours ranging from prawns (obviously) to steak, pasta, soup and desert! Its on the beach, so you can take a break from your food and go for a swim, and in Durban you can swim all year long :-)
A really cool place!

The weekend ended with a trip to the movies to watch Eclipse, the third twilight movie. Yes, i am a fan and yes i have read all the books and seen all the movies (more than once), but let me tell you...I hated that third book. I have never read a more boring piece of junk book before. It took me like six months to read because it was so dull I never wanted to read it. I did finish it unlike some of my friends who just wikipedia'd the ending because they could not bear to read anymore! It was crap! So i expected the movie to be crap too, but i was pleasantly surprised! Maybe because I went in with low expectations it seemed really good but i enjoyed it. It was true to the book, expect it left out an odd 300 pages of the really boring crap! It has lots of love- beautiful vampire and werewolf love and a tiny fight scene of like 5 minutes. If you are a fan, go watch it; if not...then i don't recommend it :-)

That's it for now,
Have a good week!